


Memories in a Timeline

by endangeredwalrus



Series: Insanity is Passed On, Never Disappears [2]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Cutting, M/M, Mental Instability, Self-Harm, Triggers, insane!Kise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-31 11:19:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6468154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/endangeredwalrus/pseuds/endangeredwalrus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The happenings before the First Story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memories in a Timeline

**Author's Note:**

> HEyeey so this is the sequel to "am I beautiful?" which is pretty much just an explanation of what happened to Kise beofre the first story. So I hope you like it ;)  
> I do have to warn you though that this contains some things that might trigger thoughts so please proceed with caution.

**_TRIGGER WARNING! PLEASE DO NOT FORCE YOURSELF TO READ THIS IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO!_ **

 

 

 

_Fourteen_

Life was simple and he was well aware that the following years would pretty much be hell. With that in mind, he decided to live this year to the fullest. He got into various sports, basketball being the one he chose as ‘his’. Teiko was nice in Kise’s perspective, especially this one dark male that he would see around the campus. Kise’s eyes would lock onto the other male as he passed by but always pried his gaze away to avoid suspicion. He was the apple in the eyes of his classmates after all. His every move was observed. The mix of his killer looks and talents in almost everything gained the attention of both the student and teachers but he didn’t mind the attention. He enjoyed it: enjoyed being the star of the school.

 

_Fourteen 1/2_

Kise loved the complements. The top players of every sport he would play in would acknowledge him and even offer him a place in their varsity practices though he would always reject their offer. His looks were a beautiful mix of feminine and masculine features. His sharp jawline, his soft red lips, his broad shoulders and his delicate hands blended with perfect harmony. “Wow, he’s so handsome!”  “Kise! Please accept these chocolates!” “I love you Kise!” It was no surprise that everyone crushed on him, both male and female. All was going well at his fourteen year old stage. All was well until his admirers spoke a different kind of thought on Kise aloud.

 “Hey beautiful.” One male said. “You wanna come over to my house tonight? My parents will be home late today.”

“Kise-chan, don’t you want me to _help_ you?” a female said with a dirty look in her eyes.

“Damn you look so pretty that you actually want to make me fuck you.”

The catcalling got worse as the days went by. The words made Kise feel all kinds of lewd inside. He tried his best to ignore the words but the memory remained hidden in his mind rather than thrown away and forgotten. The harassing then grew from verbal to physical when his male and female admirers would give him a soft and sometimes not so soft pat on his bum and uncomfortable caressing down his arms and legs. His heart would race not with excitement but with fear and he would keep his gaze on the ground when he would walk around in school.

 

* * *

  _Fifteen_

School was a nightmare now. His school life soon affected his personal life as he had trouble sleeping and he started to become overly self-conscious. He would try and tell his parents what had been happening at school but one would blame the other for what would happen. This was the reason why Kise then refused to tell his parents what was happening because of his fear that they will get into a big fight all because of him. Sleepless nights lead him to slowly develop heavy eye bags and fatigue. A week of no proper sleep and his skin that was once filled with glow was now dull and lifeless. Kise thought that his recent change in appearance would somehow ward off those who were harassing him but it broke him when nothing changed at all. Lunch and break times were spent hiding from everyone. Every week he would find a new hiding spot to prevent his cover from being blown. He was running out of places to hide.

 

Eventually he reported the teacher that he was being harassed. At the end of the same day, the teacher spoke to the mentioned students and gave them severe warnings. He thought that everything would be over soon.  A week passed and there were no harassing issues anymore.

 

_Fifteen 1/2_

They kidnapped him. The same people who harassed Kise kidnapped him. It was already dismissal at his school and he was about to go home. They got him there and blindfolded him. Kise was thrashing around but he was soon tied up in his wrists and ankles. The laughs of people, not even sure if they were female or male, were all that he could hear. He was helpless.

He was carried into a tool shed and his clothes were being taken off one by one. He was screaming at the top of his lungs for help but someone quickly hushed him with a hand over his mouth. The last piece of clothing left on Kise were his boxers. The people seemed to stop what they were doing but the sound of cameras clicking and chuckles filled the shed.

_Man, he’s such a beauty isn’t he? Someone that beautiful can make me feel something down there, ya know? Kise-chan, you’re so beautiful right now._

 Kise’s eyes burst into tears, staining the blindfold with wet patches. This was it, he thought. Just when his last piece of privacy was about to be thrown away, screams of agony echoed followed by scrambling noises and eventually silence.

Kise was trembling so hard. Why was it silent all of a sudden? What was happening? Suddenly he heard his name being called out in a worried tone.

“Kise?” Why did that voice sound so familiar, Kise thought. Then his blindfold was slipped off and he saw that everyone else had left except for his potential savior in the shed. He was face to face with the man who made Kise’s heart flutter. _Aomine._

“Kise, are you alri – “ he reached his hand out to touch Kise but the blonde instinctively kicked back and pushed up against the wall behind him, quivering and bursting into cries like a scared animal.

“Stay away!” Kise pleaded. His body felt so violated and disgusting. He didn’t want to be touched by more people after what had just happened. Aomine’s features softened and he backed off for a moment. He looked at the ground to pick up Kise’s clothes. He walked towards him slowly, stopping from time to time when he saw the other tense up. He put the clothes by Kise’s feet and raised his hands in front of his chest to signal that he wasn’t going to do anything harmful.

Kise looked down at his clothes and tried to pick it up but the ropes around his writs made it hard for him to do so. Aomine was quick to notice that the blonde was finding the task difficult. “Kise, do you….?” He gave him a suggestive look and pointed at the bonds. Kise didn’t respond to the question but watched as the darker male came closer and quickly untied the ropes around his wrists and ankles. Kise watched as the ropes fell to the ground and savored the feeling of them loosening around his skin. A wave of relief washed over Kise but the scar lingered in his chest. Aomine grabbed Kise’s shirt and threw it over the blonde’s shoulders, making sure that it was wrapped around securely around his naked torso

The action done by Aomine was unique and heart-warming to Kise. His thoughts left him and only one word remained in his head.

_Aomine._

_Aomine._

Kise buried himself onto Aomine’s chest and sobbed. The gesture took the darker male by surprise but wrapped his own arms around him. He tucked Kise’s head into the crook of his neck and rested his chin atop of his head.

“It’s okay Kise.” Aomine whispered. “I’m here.”

 

He stayed in Kise’s head the whole night.

_Aominecchi._

_Aominecchi._

_Aominecchi._

 

 _Fifteen 3/4_  

The students who were involved in the incident were expelled and Kise wasn’t afraid of school as much as before. Whenever he would pass by the shed, the memory would flood his mind and he would lose himself in a flood of his tears. Because of that, he refused to pass by it and go home alone. Aomine still stayed in his mind. He just couldn’t get his head off him. They never spoke to each other after what had happened but they would have these momentary glances when they pass by each other in school.

Kise was confused. He wanted to talk to him but didn’t know how to approach him. After a week of awkward glances, Aomine took initiative and came up to the blonde during break time with a red flush on his cheeks. He tapped Kise on the shoulder lightly, alerting the other and making the other’s cheeks flare up.

“S-So Kise, how h-have you b-been?” Aomine mentally slapped himself at the fact that his jaw was so jittery it made him stutter like hell. Damn, he was nervous. Kise couldn’t help but laugh at the other. Aomine felt his ears get hot and he was about to turn and make a run for it but the blonde stopped him from running away. “Awwwweeee Aominecchi what happened to your speech?” Kise teased.

“Oi I didn’t know what was a good conversation starter! I panicked!” He defended. Kise’s face softened and a warm smile emitted from him.

“Well _this_ is technically a conversation.” Kise pointed at the free seat beside him. “Let’s talk, Aominecchi.”

 

They became very close.

 

* * *

_Sixteen_

The time came when they had to go to different schools. However, the Inter High Prelims where up and that was when they saw each other again. The head of dark blue made the blonde’s heart race and vice versa. It didn’t sink in completely that the two would meet each other as enemies on the basketball court but nonetheless they tossed their rivalry away when they met outside of the court. In fact, they had developed feelings for each other and established an official relationship.

Kise was always dodging Aomine’s question on how he’d been dealing with the catcallers. He would skim through too fast that Aomine couldn’t even get a solid answer. The only thing that Aomine could hear was the word ‘beautiful.’ He also noticed Kise’s expression whenever he’d say that word.

Disgust.

Anger.

Obsession.

Something wasn’t right, Aomine thought. His suspicions were proven right when he noticed that Kise started acting differently. Kise would always ask him if he looked fine, he would always bring a small mirror with him and take looks every five minutes. He would freak out if he didn’t look good in Kise’s own standards. Aomine had said over and over again that he still loved Kise and that appearance didn’t matter when it came to love but the blonde didn’t change. No, he _did_ change. Kise now talked more about his physical self instead of anything else.

This was getting out of hand.

 

_Sixteen 1/4_

 

Aomine didn’t know that Kise was now a model. He didn’t know that deep inside, Kise resented modeling. Kise’s answer to why he had to be a model would be this:

“I just thought that it would be fun.”

Aomine didn’t like how Kise was very insecure with his appearance now. He wasn’t sure if he liked the idea of Kise becoming a model especially with his insecurities. He also didn’t like how he was now _always_ talking about how he looked ever since he became a model. Aomine thought that Kise wasn’t having fun at all.

 

He asked Kuroko if he knew anything about Kise and his modeling career. Kuroko shook his head, saying that he knew nothing but he somehow thought that something was off about Kise’s job. Kuroko mentioned that he feels that his modeling career made him very self-conscious of his appearance. Aomine felt the same.

 

 

Kise stared at his mirror, at his tear stained reflection. He picked up his box cutter and pressed the tip against his wrist.

“I’m so sorry, Aominecchi….” He sobbed and began creating small gashes on his skin. He started forming words on his skin.

_I_

_Am_

_Beautiful_

 

He hid the cuts with a watch and a couple of bracelets. The cutting had already been a routine for a year. He stared at the mirror once again, the expression in his eyes making him break into loud sobs and screams.

“Aominecchi….” He grabbed the cutter again and lined it up near his wrist. “I’m so sorry….”

_Who_

_Am_

_I_

Kise cried and cried. He didn’t recognize himself. He didn’t know who the man looking at him through the reflection was.

 

 _Sixteen 3/4_  

“Kise, what’s gotten into you?” Aomine couldn’t hold it in anymore. “You’re so obsessed with yourself. I’m worried, Kise. I love you but it seems like you don’t even know that I’m right _fucking_ beside you. Now you’re a model but it seems like you’ve become even more obsessed with yourself. You want to _look_ beautiful? What the fuck happened to the old Kise?”

 

Kise stared back, the physical pain of his heart breaking apart stung him. At that moment, his mind went black and he lost himself. He looked up at Aomine, not as Kise anymore. Aomine felt his breath catch in his throat. He wanted to take that back, but it was too late already. He wasn’t looking at Kise anymore. The blonde tilted his head to the side like a ragdoll, almost inhumanly.

“What do you mean, Aominecchi?” Kise’s voice wasn’t happy anymore. No, his voice was a sadistic and sarcastic. “Am I not beautiful enough to you?”

 

Kise smiled and burst into a manic laughter.

 

* * *

_Seventeen 1/2_  

Aomine hadn’t spoken to Kise ever since. The only person Kise would talk to was Kuroko. After a lot of convincing, Kuroko agreed to tell Aomine what had been happening to Kise during his visits. Week by week passed and Kuroko continued to leak information to Aomine about Kise. As the weeks went by, Aomine felt his love for Kise wavering. Did he still love him? Did Kise still love him? Does Kise even remember him? Aomine sighed in defeat. He’ll never remember me, he thought. One day, Kuroko came back from his visit with a look in his eyes that screamed regret and pity.

“Tetsu, what’s wrong?” Aomine asked as soon as he noticed his friend’s expression.

“Aomine-kun,” Kuroko’s voice was just as sad as his facial expression. “Remember when Kise-kun started modeling a year or so back and we felt that something wasn’t right?”

Aomine paused and took in a shaky breath. “I remember.”

 

_“Heyyyy Kurokocchi…..” The happiness in Kise’s voice was sarcastic and manic. “Ya know, I never wanted to become a model.”_

_Kuroko didn’t know how to react. He watched as the blonde stood up and trudged to a mirror on the other side of the room. The blonde giggled to himself for no apparent reason and started swaying back and forth to music in his head._

_“My parents fought back then and my mom ran away from us. My dad was having a hard time in paying the bills since he was addicted to gambling and alcohol and spent ALL OUR PRECIOUS SAVINGS ON HIS SELFISH DESIRES! HAHAHHA!”_

_Kuroko felt his blood run cold and he swallowed hard, watching Kise laughed hysterically at the memory that was not a least bit funny._

_“Sooo, to pay off our bills….” Kise turned around and walked towards Kuroko and Kuroko could slowly see all his features._

_Heavy eye bags._

_Wrinkles in the corners of his eyes._

_Dark scars and some fresh ones too._

_Dull skin._

_Manic eyes._

_Manic smile._

_“Do you know what he made me do? Kurokocchi?” Kise positioned himself on Kuroko’s lap, straddling him and wrapping his arms around the other’s neck. Kuroko tensed and forced out a reply._

_“Wha-t did he… make you d-do?” Kuroko said softly. Kise laughed, bending over until his dry and bleeding lips were beside Kuroko’s left ear. He whispered in the softest yet sinister whisper he could make._

_“He made me a model. He made me beautiful, Kurokocchi.”_

* * *

_Eighteen_

This wasn’t supposed to happen. Aomine wasn’t supposed to fall in love with Kuroko. Aomine wasn’t supposed to ask Kuroko to be _his._ No one was supposed to spread news about the relationship. Kise wasn’t supposed to find out.

 

Kise completely lost his mind and allowed absolutely no one in his apartment anymore.

 

_Eighteen 1/2_

It started with hours of drastic transformations with makeup, then it went to switching between binge eating and starving himself to try and be ‘this weight.’ Despite all that, he was not satisfied at all. He soon resorted into doing his own plastic surgery.

A kitchen knife lined up against his cheekbones held by bony and shaky hands. Kise looked at his reflection and laughed.

“ _Time to chisel your cheekbones, beautiful.”_

 

He never stopped trying to do his own plastic surgery after that.

 

* * *

_Nineteen_

Kuroko wanted to see Kise once more. He wanted to see his friend. He still cared for him.

He still loved him.

* * *

_Twenty_

Aomine paced back and forth across his living room. Kuroko was supposed to come back yesterday, he thought. Something wasn’t right and he wanted Kuroko to be by his side. The last thing he remembered was Kuroko saying that he’d visit Kise. Why is he a day late? He couldn’t take it anymore so he made the decision to go to Kise’s apartment himself.

 

Kuroko was tied to a chair in the middle of the room with a black blindfold over his eyes and duct tape sealing his mouth. A single bulb swinging above Kuroko lit up the room. Aomine felt anger boil in his veins when he saw that his boyfriend was in that state, muffled cries and tear stained cheeks. Aomine took one step inside the apartment and then he heard a voice which he hasn’t heard in years.

“My my, Aominecchi~” Aomine froze and saw a head of pale blonde hair emerge into the light. “It’s been quite a while, yes?”

Aomine couldn’t even recognize him anymore. Kise’s skin was pale and dull. It was covered with scars, fresh wounds, bruises and something that looked like dried up blood in some patches of his skin. He was bony, two long scars running below his cheek bones as if the chunk of meat that was once there was taken out. He wore a black shirt and a black pair of shorts, possibly to hide blood stains from certain encounters. He no longer had any toenails, heck he had only seven toes left. Aomine took a look at his arms and saw multiple scars which formed words etched into his skin. Some of the more visible ones read ‘beautiful’ and ‘perfect.’ Kise’s current state was so far from his initial goal to be ‘beautiful.’

“Kise…” Aomine felt guilt as his eyes scanned his previous boyfriend. He couldn’t help but remember the time when he lashed out at him and ended their relationship. That time was also the last time Aomine had seen him. “What…. You….” Aomine stuttered, having a difficulty finding words to say. Kise stood behind Kuroko, holding a clean knife in the air and breaking into a manic laughter.

“Aomiineecchiiiiii, I’m so glad that you’re heerre!” Kise looked at Aomine with his deranged eyes. “I saved this last clean knife just for _this occasion!”_ Kise placed the sharp side of the knife beside Kuroko’s cheek, making the other shudder and whimper in fear. Aomine’s eyes widened at the sight. “You’re so _lucky_ , Aominecchi. You have such a BEAUTIFUL LOVER!” Kise pushed the tip of the knife slightly into Kuroko’s skin. Kuroko cried out in pain as the blade dug into his cheek and forced blood out.

“Tetsu!” Aomine moved to run but Kise’s gaze forced him into a halt.

“You can’t do that, Aominecchi.” Kise sneered. “If you move one more step, this _knife_ will be pushed in deeper.” Kise pushed a bit more when he said ‘knife’ and Kuroko’s cries became louder. “Do you want your precious lover to suffer?” A smile laced his dull face.

“You bastard…” Aomine muttered under his breath. A laugh rang from the blonde’s throat as he brought the knife up to his lips, red blood lining the edge of the silver metal. The blonde’s tongue lapped at the liquid, making Aomine boil with rage. Kise smirked.

“Your boyfriend even _tastes_ beautiful.”

Aomine moved faster than he ever did before and knocked out the blonde with one solid punch to the face. Once he confirmed that the blonde was not going to wake up at that moment, he immediately removed Kuroko’s binds and brought him into a warm hug.

“Aomine-kun….” Kuroko wrapped his arms tightly around the darker male and sobbed. He couldn’t find the right words to say but right now, his name was already enough for Kuroko. “Aomine-kun…”

Aomine rested his chin on top of Kuroko’s head, hushing him softly. “It’s okay Tetsu. I’m here.”

At that moment, Aomine remembered the exact scenario happening to him and Kise back in Teiko.

 

_Twenty 3/4_

Kise was not sentenced to jail. Instead, he was sent to a mental rehabilitation ward because both the Court and the doctors agreed that it was his mental condition that was making him do dangerous things.

Deep inside, Aomine still cared for Kise but there was an empty feeling inside him which he couldn’t quite grasp what it was.

* * *

_Twenty-one 1/2_

 The more Aomine visited Kise, the more he couldn’t recognize the blonde anymore. It took him a while to finally realize what the empty feeling inside him was.

He realized that he was in love with the old Kise, not the Kise now.

* * *

_Twenty-one +_  

Aomine didn’t recognize Kise anymore. He was now a complete stranger to him. Because of Kise, Aomine began to care for Kuroko more and more. He didn’t want to make the same mistake he did to Kise before.

He didn’t want to hurt someone he loved again.

 


End file.
